Crush Ass

So hard...

2012-02-12T06:02:00.001-08:00

To not turn on the water.

HLM

2012-02-06T07:10:00.001-08:00

We had a good one.

I'm a cat lady.

2012-02-02T15:19:00.001-08:00

A nice place to read.

2012-01-27T09:33:00.001-08:00

Finally.

2012-01-21T19:27:00.001-08:00

HFTU.

2012-01-16T08:26:00.001-08:00

I'm going to swim across this.

2012-01-14T10:20:00.001-08:00

I don't hate it here

2012-01-12T07:28:00.001-08:00

Thanks Gordie!

2012-01-09T14:25:00.001-08:00

Twoo wuv.

2012-01-06T14:48:00.001-08:00

Meet Hank. While there will always only be one Frank I happened upon a kitty I could not say no to. So as a homage to my favorite author and a slight wink to his rhyming brother from another mother here he lies. As you wish.

California babies

2011-12-30T10:11:00.001-08:00

Quick trip to see the fam back home for the holidays. Lots of tikes, lil golf, warrior win, a wild cat and hella public transportation.

You would think Danny and Colin would be bummed.

2011-12-24T18:03:00.001-08:00

But if I was them I'd be hyped on the extreme branching out of Sheckler and P Rod.

Childish? Yes.

2011-12-24T05:14:00.001-08:00

Real funny anyway? Duh. One block from Manhattan bridge skatepark. Couple birds with single stone.

My neighbor is awesome

2011-12-22T10:43:00.001-08:00

Bottom half fail.

I live in New York now.

2011-12-19T13:24:00.001-08:00

I like this bum in my neighborhood.

tour de giants

2011-04-19T09:35:00.000-07:00

so, this is what i left in portland. well to be fair it is mostly dreary ass rain and streets that never dry, this snow shit happened a few times...recently. in march and junk. no bueno.

i think the ramp is going to have to get a lil face lift come summer time.

YES! straight from SFO to the ballpark for the last tuneup against the team across the bay. day before headed to the combat zone of dodger stadium for opening day.

lou seal was in the house, slapping fives and giving thumbs up.

round the 5th inning mr. arron rowand hits an outer space high foul ball coming my way. after shoving my old man out into the isle, i removed my hat and gracefully leaped a good foot higher than the rest of the crowd and snagged the ball in my cap. probably the best catch since something cody ross did last october.

found these gems out in the bleachers catching some serious rays. stayed there till the end of the game like real fans do and watched us rally in the bottom of the ninth for a victory. lovely day at the yard, bout 85 degrees at first pitch.

quick delores park trip, one of many during this journey. pretty fucking all star crew if you ask me.

skate day with mr. beavers turned into some sunbathing on the water front with tall cans and the most beautiful scenery in the west.

insane drum circle that went on for hours. that park is too bomb.

went over to see my long lost brother bj in vallejo and he gave us a quick tour of this behemoth of a ship of theirs at his school. his future home for a couple months soon.

then i took a 36 hour detour from sf to hit up sd for uncle chris' 30th birthday extravaganza. party bus to game, two different suites in the park, a giants ass kicking of whatever that team is called, free food and beers and pretty much smiles for miles. extra big thanks to amy!

not quite sure but looks mild altering.

evan came back to the city with me after sd, obviously. i mean it was our first home game since the fucking world series! we had a grand weekend filled with giants games and running around the city by the bay. will certainly not be my only journey down this season.

by the way, i am not that fat, it just appears that way. the camera really let me down on this one.

dudefarm

2011-02-03T15:50:00.000-08:00

30 years deep

2011-01-25T20:09:00.001-08:00

the good peeps here in pdx took couple hour drive to the coast for my celebration of three decades where it was fully stunning. hotels on the water, casino across the parking lot. we killed it at fun and knowing when to hold em and when to fold em. thanks all. 30s been super fantastic so far.

i suck at this

2010-11-30T15:51:00.000-08:00

blogging that is, not that anyone cares as per usual but i have taken some photos over the last few months. the mobile upload world has taken over and therefore i have very little need to take my shitty digi camera out for anything anymore. wrap yours domes round some mediocrity now.

best lady girl kimmy cruised up from sf for a quick stint and we headed to a super sweet watering hole with a gigantic bridge that only kimmy and i had the balls to partake in. wheee!

our other pal rachel also came up from sf later on and we ventured to the worlds tallest constantly running waterfall. i also found that weird salamander-esk creature stuck in some rocks. i child-ly poked at it with a stick for a good 20 minutes.

mommy and warren g came for a visit, we did parental things like the saturday market. lots of bridges up here, the prague of the northwest i think someone called it once.

put this guy in my backyard. george approved. fun till the rain fucked it in the a.

some randumb hate photos and a closing day with the japanese barners at mini westlynn. these guys are the tops. cant wait for next time, nothing like strip clubs and cop encounters with fellas that speak no english.

so thats that. horray for nothing! oh, nothing as well as the gall good gods gift GIANTS!

end of the season road trips

2010-09-29T16:06:00.001-07:00

as we reached the end of the 2010 season we took a slow fishing period to jetset over to this other ransacked ass cannery just across the river. after the cruise and one hell of a mud walk we got to wander around this place for a bit. its really quite extraordinary, just like people up and left one day and never came back. goodtimes.

a whole huge warehouse sized room full of salmon packing boxes from decades ago.

then we took an over vert fucked up ladder to this water tower to really peep the whole scene. a deserted bald eagles nest was up there, thing was comparable in size to a dorm bed. we found that eagles beak which was, well kinda awesome and creepy at the same time along with an egg that i cracked open and possibly the gnarliest substance known to man fell out of. nothin like a rotten americas bird egg to cheer the spirits.

tide comes in quick in the great white north and in just about an hours time our boats went from on shore to way out there. rodney took the leadership role, as he does so well, and walked out to save us. then he preceded to showboat around in circles and full speed ram the skiff ashore so we could hop on, then hop off and push it back out to sea due to the fact that we were totally stuck. but it was radical all round.

this is the mini park i set up to shred. found some metal and nailed it into this up ledge/manny pad to accompany the flat gap/manny pad/old door there in the back. ground was smooth and provided some serious kill it space.

hahahaa. for some reason, well for obvious reasons, this made me laugh on a daily basis. always wondered who did this, someone fuckin awesome clearly.

finally back in naknek and the crew was all tuckered out but wanted to head to naknek lake for one last hurrah for the bros before everyone headed home and tried to avoid each other for another year.

corey, martzki and sam took the plunge into some cold water. nobody told marty that a synchronized dive was about to happen so the classic jump went down instead. good thing then went when they did because about 3 minutes later this guy showed up...

dude just meandered up the waterfront lookin for fish and apparently not caring about us in the least. which was good cause we were cornered on a dock with nowhere to go. he was literally ten feet from us. good way to end the year...

one last stop at the dump to climb around and look for bears, saw a few more but to dark for good pics, those fuckers love garbage. and classical music.

everyone killed it this year and went home healthy and happy. great group of dudes and ladys, until next summer. well...bye.

watch this video if you like seeing me in pain

2010-09-02T12:28:00.000-07:00

http://dudebarn.blogspot.com/

and looking like a real ass.

the best sunset, an epic fire and a quick sesh...

2010-08-31T12:22:00.000-07:00

home sweet home.

rainer fueled gap kickflip. proud to say that i am positive this was a never been done. corey got the make on his camera.

floodgates are open for business...uhhhoh

2010-08-30T19:22:00.000-07:00

beer cap puzzles have always held a special place in my heart...

get it going

2010-08-18T14:44:00.000-07:00

pat took first stint behind the wheel and we were off through the bay and out to graveyard creek and our fucked up homes for the next bunch of weeks.

we watched these loud ass birds take their first flight, one was a real bitch. mommy bird cussed at it until it moved out and got a real job. lame.

dry smoke fillet jar eat. yummy.

go to alameda fleafest and find marty, you could be the next new proud owner of old ass bottles that have made quite the journey.

fox tour guide, glad we missed this much scarier version by a few minutes.

its fully on now fuckers.

found a spot to crack a few where no others have been before.

chaos at the yard. more to come. stay tuned, or as always, dont. i wouldnt know the difference.

alaska 2010 - the beginning, next stop graveyard

2010-08-12T15:39:00.000-07:00

so this is the start of the journey, that is after a drive to seattle, a flight to anchorage, a bunch of hours at that airport then the dingy flight to king salmon. its quite the bitch to get up to that state but well worth it. go now.

a few from the last plane including a wing shot for my man george who hearts those things.

garlic gulch as it is called, a few double wides owned by italian families that have been shredding these waters since the sailboat days. aka home for the first few days which are spent in the town of naknek running around trying to make sure everything is ready.

lots of hours in this dark whole as well making nets and listening to the god station on the radio. ouch.

a few eagle sightings right away. these bastards get old real quick. the pigeon of the north, but ever so regal and junk.

my captain harlan sporting the raddest jacket in town. contemplative as hell.

the best two piece, man and woman, cover band in naknek. todd and wendy. just dont even think about playing rap music in the red dog saloon. or pissing in the pool that does not exist.

a long road ahead.

back from the great north

2010-07-30T12:11:00.000-07:00

had a pretty to really amazing season on the salmon tip, but more bout that later. got a few pieces of photographic evidence from my trip back to the bay left to throw up so here they are. feeling a bit of a lack of creative juices at the moment so just check these couple pics and shit...or as always, dont.

saw this smiling face first thing off the train, we got after it real quick. hella blast was had. giants, party, wandering soldiers, dopeness.

matt brow, bvrs and i hit up the old thrasher park the next day. i think bvrs was killing it, i was haggard. they are switching the park up a bunch, its a fun session, plus getting to see the whole ol warehouse crew and saw v is a guaranteed good time.

that handsome fella showed up, martinis were had, camera was left. luvs these dudes. ross on the hospitality scene as usual.

my cousin lauren (roger) moved into my old stomping grounds, or i should say i moved here in. it was a nightmare but her pops, my goddad, gave seegs, other cousin lindsay (louie) and myself a ride down to the game. beautiful day, amazing looking friends, a win all combined for a golden day.

then it was time for this sunday. no words can describe and these are all the pics i have but if youve been you know already. san diego group sex crew represented super hard, jt was mvp, nick p and i were besties and maddness all around. rumor has it they are trying to shut this down. good fuckin luck i say.

like that steve martin flick w/out the planes or automobiles

2010-06-03T14:07:00.000-07:00

on a mission to not miss a giants series, bay2breakers and to hold onto the sf homies tight to my chest i took to the rails and headed south on a 20-some hour ride of fun. took a few pics and whatevers, just wanted to throw these up for that rare breed of anyone that cares. anywho, off to alaska tomorrow so all be rad and HFTU a stranger this week as your dogooder deed. byebye friends.

had to look hard for this gap

2010-06-02T13:31:00.000-07:00

c-ing as it is about 12 feet from my front door. thanks chads for the photo, except the cutting my head part off, since its really my best feature.

lil bit o p-town before the haggard that is sfc

2010-05-20T15:52:00.000-07:00

portland has been nothing short of goodtimes juicyfruit. besides skating, which takes up approx a shitload of the time here, we have been getting around to doin some things. caught the last hoops game of the year for the playoff bound blazers which just so happened to be against my beloved pig fucker warriors. i think we know how that worked out, while portland is rad; on the toughness scale to the bay it doesnt quite get there. so the yay rear-ended the northwest and danny and i snuck into about the 7th row to witness it, these pics arent even zoomed in. shit was tight. monta ellis gave us an air knuckles after we yelled at him. it was hella hot, manlove usually is.

boys day out in washington state was next, skated a bunch of half-sy parks that still crushed ass but started the day at battleground which is probably the best park ever, or sumthin. vancouver, wa has put up all these mini parks with just a few things to get radical...

the portland beavers (ha) are the minor league baseball here so we took it to the park on a sunny gods day so we could watch the giants minor league team, the grizz bitch slap the bvrs. it was fun, we had beers. and evryone looked great.

another lovely day was spent at a megamini par 3 golf course with some weird number of holes, 14 or something. george, chip and i had a blast. thanks dudes. although chip and i tied so we need to go back asap.

the above pic was at a party that some real smart kids house who told everyone to tell others and then pass it on to come over and destroy his house which he was...renting. so they did. then they burned it. then the cops came and i laughed. george has better evidence i believe. fin.

the end of it all parties...and my new digs!

2010-04-17T11:19:00.000-07:00

the time has came and it has went but at some point i was still on hip street usa; these are the last few weeks there...

pretty sure all have heard this story by now but here is my poor former roommate laid up like a ran through whore. bummin foo.

squeaked in between people bouncin the city by the bay, mr. ben p turned 21 or so and had a bit of a fiesta, it was a good time all round and such. friends were made and lost. i like these poeple.

i too had celebrated a day of birth shortly before i left. lucky for me i share a bday with the coolest cat on the planet and lucky man as well as he dates my mother. warren g. king is the name, so he brought mommy up to the city and we swooped his daughter and chip and went to rikkis establishment to feast. hella good. couldnt even do anything after due to fat gut syndrome. but lovely it was.

then this hot mess showed up. verge is probly the dumbest fuck i have ever met so hanging out with him is pretty painful, therefore we resort to lighting smokes with american currency which i believe is a federal offence. id give the feds his address but its pretty hard to pinpoint a van. hugs.

not sure how i ended up with one picture from this but the best girl erin bird-ie upped and followed her heart and dreams to colombia so we all got together for a proper send off. guess the reason for one photo is we were having too much fun. good luck woman!

then it was my turn for departure and so it is. had a last hurrah and the polk palace where kayvon provided some amazing tunes...we danced...like the waves on the ocean, romance. fun was had, nightmares were created and the house was shut down for good...except my cousin moves in to the remodeled edition v2.0 next month so the legacy will struggle on although we all know it will never be the same. love most everyone who showed!!!

spent my very last day at the horse track with the tightest bros of all time. cptn harlan even showed up and we discussed how much we are going to crush ass in alaska one month from now. i think i won this many races = 0. so i got that going for me. jimmy meatball and ryan above had more fun that you did that day, i promise.

then i moved here! a house and shit! with yard space and skateable/rideable to pretty much anywhere in portland. horseshoes going in on right, potential mini ramp in back. come check it you fools...HFTU.

harmar SF/roadtrip that inspired the bounce

2010-04-07T12:30:00.000-07:00

short pants productions hooked it up again with another outstanding show of the superstar himself. rickshaw stop was popping off and whatnot and shit. everyone got what they paid for or in our instance a shitload more seeing as it was free. too busy dancing to snap a lot of photos but trust HFTU when it tells you, he was up to the usual antics and anecdotes.

he had this total megababe for a singer man, she could totally wail! cue "dreamweaver" by gary wright.

then greg robo and i flew to portland to surprise george for his ridin dirty thirty. it was the best surprise i have ever been a part of. his lifemate amy did a glorious job keeping him in the dark and when we showed up there was a serious hugfest followed by fireworks and dancing teddy bears, weird huh? this is christian from the mean jeans.

this outfit was to much to pass up. caliente as fuuuck.

andrew, the other half of the mean jeans.

deddick and kyle, kyle just hooked with up with a bike here in pdx, and it is for reals radical to the max. thanks bud!

on to karaoke. shit was on the chain.

got into the nike park, we were hella blown out but frankly we still killed, grogs gets this done, whatever this is.

then he got the puke done. way tighter.

went to a bar where a dance party was created solely by us. for reals. wigs got passed thisawaythataway.

dudebarn ramp and curbs and shit. fuuuck.

went to mlk fashion plaza, THE greatest store ever. brandon and i got puffy coats and after we were done filming missy mistameanor elliots new hot joint video we went to some nudie bars and made the talent wear them.

then we made it to the whales vagina where everyone was as wrecked as we were, but they kinda rallied and we had a blast. jt became a angel, martskie made bubbles and we drove home in shame. the end.

gimme more, gimme, gimme more.

2010-01-19T18:35:00.001-08:00

hella art. no marty but i'm feeling it. e.n.j.o.i.

this was the best day. pat stranded us so i made a hammock and sat in sun. then swam in bristol bay, you ever done that? now shut it. love, me.

so fun, can't wait for this year. lemme know what you think.

a year fuckin later

2010-01-19T17:18:00.000-08:00

ok, i suck at this. reasons for delay: new computer without picture upload capabilities for me...ah hell who am i kidding, i got lazy and forgot about it but a new leaf has been turned. i pulled the proverbial trigger and packed up and moved on up to the realllly north side as in oregon; portland to be exact so i have decided that the HFTU shall return. in the week i have been here it has already been epic even though i am harassing george and living in his basement and generally being a pain. that is neither here nor there though. shenanigans will pop up much more often now so check back after these two posts of alaska from a year ago. figured i better get em up before i leave again in a couple months.

so here is alaska 09 in 2 posts, followed by my new life in a new state coupled with some misc SF stuff that i never posted thrown back in there for good measure. i love you all.

view from the back of the truck on way to garlic gulch and my home for a week or so before the departure to the famous graveyard point. that truck is harlans baby and so fun to drive.

found a hovercraft. still waiting on the hoverboard from B2TF. where you at mcfly??

reminded me of caaaaable guy.

floatation device turned workout/stress reliever. genius i think.

the man himself. see you in a few months homie!

these things are like pigeons up there.

this fool is in jail for a year, but i still love him. i wrote a story about the incident, maybe i shall post it up here in the future. peep that steez, for reals yo.

now dont get all up in arms, this was an accident by one of the fisherman. we didnt club it until after it was dead. and bbq'ed.

part two coming in a few minutes, meaning long before anyone checks this one out. come back HFTU army!

first!

2009-11-22T11:29:00.000-08:00

fred took the torch and my sincerest admiration and jealousy with the og HFTU permanent mark. the sickness is beyond comprehension.

i been gone for days after days but the army is coming back. lost a camera in thailand but it shall be replaced and alaska and asia updates coming soon. hope somebody out there is still paying attention after the absence by me, doubtful but fuk it.
HFTU my beautiful babies!

i am blowing it

2009-05-13T10:41:00.001-07:00

been a bit since a post from this asshole but i have the feeling nobody cares. i went to mexico to catch the swine floo and while i was there i decided to check out my cousins wedding, second priority for sure though. it was in cancun-ish area. i had beers and caught rays, it was tight. thanks mommy.

this one is for you george. know how you love those window shots, i am pretty impressed with mine. most likely ruined the whole thing for you. forever.

these waiters were entertaining. deliverin margs on their heads and making flaming cocktayls for dessert. those crazy cancunites, always up to no good.

fairy ride over to isla mujeres. buncha dorks and then my family.

second best sign of the trip.

moms and her bf warren, fuckin awesome peeps i tell you what.

we rented a golf cart and mobbed all around the island. at some point stopped at this turtle reserve and pointed and stared for a few minutes...it was aiiight.

few token sunset shots on the craft back to mainland, brah.

this guy was killing the entertainment session.

this was the best sign of the trip. day after isla mujeres we went to another island, cozumel. rented scooters and shit. orlando is worldwide bitches!

hit the beach and did a little snorkel sesh. warren g is gangsta as a muthafucka.

then it was time for the rehearsal dinner. myself and a couple cousins.

this ones for you matty. saw this on the way to the actual wedding which was at some resort. pretty funny scene.

creeeeepy ass filmer lurker. weirded me out man.

the groom with his moms.

for some reason the bride showed up in this thing. comical. i had never met her before, she is from jersey and her family was very entertaining, fired up for the whole thing.

first ones out there. gotta represent the orlando side of the family.

my great aunt ida. so steezy. that is all for that excursion.

kimmy invited us to a hotel fiasco so we headed straight for the 24 hour pool. jt was in usual dope ass form.

it was garys bday and he had the crew over for the kentucky derby. he was constant entertainment. he even did a little jig.

couple days later damn bvrs was in a little art show. he had this photo up of wallenburg. thats yours truly in the bottom right. i was probably crying about the destruction i was doing to my poor body.

cant remember this guys name but i liked his shit. reminded me of a good pal of mine, mr. matt carr, aka putrid.

bvrs painting representing right above the keg.

"you wont have sex with me because i have a small dick". he has a hand for a dick...weird but cool.

rikki and i left the art show to go see anvil: the story of anvil. the band played a set after the movie was over. you should check the movie out, real life spinal tap. guys are hilarious.

we got to take pics with the guys after the show. this is the bass player. metal.

drummer.

and lips, the singer and axe shredder.

the other night sally took me to see the new star trek movie. opening night, imax...doesnt get much nerdier than this. hella fools with insane outfits and shit. saw v had a radical outfit on herself.

until next time. find me before the first week of june, cause i am out to brokebackalaska again players!

i just stole

2009-05-07T14:38:00.000-07:00

this photo off of mr. brass' blog. i had never seen it before and i love it. good fuckin times. shasta 07 i believe, text book dance moves. im a male model, not a male prostitute.

saiiiilin away: willy mcCOVEy issue

2009-04-28T12:33:00.000-07:00

my pop was over on his boat during that insane heat wave of last week so we decided a sail was in order and what better place than the cove outside mr. bonds house. called up some heads and for once my friends actually pulled through on a sunday morning. shit was hella sick. got there at the beginning of game and pulled up next to a few boats. brought some good ass grub to bbq and went for a few dips in the bay. hellofa sunday if i do say so myself.

this is pretty much the posse. chippy, rikki, freddy, mikey, jenny y yo. marty not pictured, yet.

mi fasha. steve martin eat your bitch ass pink panther 2 heart out. how i yearn for the snl to The Jerk years. getting sober in hollywood is career suicide.

there is the man.

prime real estate. could almost see the scoreboard but we had a computer to watch on. randy johnson almost through a no hitter. we win.

had some serious views of the hotness on the way back.

fred put on the tunes and took it to his happy place.

my favorite of the day. insanity and beauty all juxtopozed together.

the baby took the wheel of death and conquered.

you know what, fuck you too buddy!

jen gettin contemplative.

all tuckered out. we swam quite a bit.

you said it man.

this has nothing to do with anything. just some real famous graffiti guy reppin the city.

thanks for the ride dad, we all had a wonderful time. marty, score us some more of those sausages...

buncha junk

2009-04-20T11:26:00.000-07:00

some stuff from st pats day through easter. holidays that love god.

went up to lynne and ryans place for a few beers and a quick roof session before heading downtown and eventually north beach. pretty mellow for a march 17th but hell of fun.

sallys bday dinner! went to haight after, good times and i think she had a good birthday, not to mention she has to feel young around all these geezers...

little ally meeting of the minds before we went into amys fundraiser in playa norte. matt and chip breaking the rules.

katie was there havin a grand time.

AB is climbing mount shasta for breast cancer awareness. she through a great party and raised some good dough for a good cause. support and pat her on the behind if you see her.

the big bear and i had a great walk just the two of us and peppermint schnapps from the marina to vertigo. sally had some insane lashes on that night.

ran into chip and the best dog bj outside of that place. motley posse.

main man and new adidas tm george cutty was in town for some socializin and workin. dropped him off in hunters point and matt and i went skating at 3rd and army, got over it, then went into this abandoned building/factory thing across the river. hell of paint.

headed over to dyke beach after george was done. this guy had on a sweet hat. furry...

random pic from walk home. that ambulance was hauling asshole.

got up early the next day to skate the bum ditch. george was doing a lot of these, really well i might add. here is the video.

after skating i went to quinns most excellent scavenger hunt bday party, which was incredible as usual. then i left the after party because sally and i were going to peep lily allen. she was AAA-mazing. so fun!

she sang the whole time, danced around all cute like and covered womanizer for her last song. big fan.

went to opening day. supposed to rain but turns out that it was a perfect sf day. mikey and i had good seats under the overhang on the lower level but once the sun was fully out we met up with the council brothers, luiz and matty g in the bleachers. i love baseball season.

walked home with jt straight to the pier for a sunset hand holding marathon.

i think this was still opening day or maybe a couple games later. but it was when our pitcher joe martinez got drilled by a line drive in the fuckin head. all the players were praying and shit, it was gnar for sure. i guess he is back with the team now, he is goood.

went for a whirlwind stop in santa cruz for easter. saw my mom for a short bit then bbqd at bjs house then right back to the city.

chips new favorite photo, ever.

went for the standard railroad track walk after steaks and salmon and some veggies. giant dipper is still there.

best spot in santa cruz. couple minutes at the trestle and homeward bound.

if you seek amy

2009-04-14T09:20:00.001-07:00

the godmother saw v scored us seats to witness the hottest mess of all time, ms. britbrit spears in sactown last saturday night! it was a faction of crew awesome at its best; sally, kimmy, rikki, jt the biggest figga and this guy. met up in soma ready to rock out, equally excited about the car ride dance party as the show itself. it did not disappoint and britney sure as fuck didnt either. she played most the shit i wanted to hear and i sang my little heart out. good damn times all around. if you missed her, you blew it. nuff said players.

jt gettin weird at sallys before 4 pm.

pre car ride dance party group shot. i am hella good at taking photos like this.

and after car dance in arco arena parking lot. tall cans and best homies galore.

first photo inside. right as the pussycat dolls were walking on stage. waaaayyy better than expected.

they played those weird awesome songs they sing that nobody knows who sings them but knows the words. at least thats how it was for me. they performed their big ass outfits out and for that i am thankful.

hella fist pumping and ass shakin. hot little numbers, from what i could tell. congrats, you have a late 20s straight male fan...might be a first.

alwasy love in the air within our crew.

i think we should work on that choreography, polk st livin room anyone?

i like this redheaded one. second only to the little blondie and her booty:

blazooie!

britney had a bunch of opening peeps doing crazy circus shit. it was fairly radical. kimmy approved:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was the consensus of the crowd at this exact moment.

muthafuckin awestruck.

she had some many sweeticle entrances. they all made me feel a little funny inside and ear to ear grins baby.

she looked spectacular. brought me back girl.

shitloads of outfit changes...gave my heart time to calm itself between the 724 number 1 hits she has.

gangster hood bikes? i see no reason why not, shit she had everything else in the world there.

goddess belting some slow jams. and by belting i mean pretending not very hard to sing. i didnt give one shit.

sally pose with accompaniment.

i would hang that shit on my mantel, tell you what.

i think jt approved of the whole scenario.

if i am not mistaken the hot ass cop was the final outfit. at least final one i have a picture of. shit was off the chain. i pray every night she stays this perfect amount of totally insane, doesnt get batshit again but i also need some crazy brit in my life. thanks girl! you crushed soooo much ass.

went to club 6 back in sf for some reason after the show and met up with these bros...?

still a bit confused.

and the night ends with the same amount of smiles as it began. a banner fuckin saturday night i tell you what. HFTU a+ for the awesome crew and our new mascot, kind of crazy but not completely insane ms. britney spears. together we killed it and shall continue prospering until the next tour. see y'all then! goodnight sacrameeenooooo!

cant get enough of that lil wayne stuff

2009-04-08T11:13:00.000-07:00

got the hook for another lil weezy show, this time we headed down to man jose for the extravaganza. a few babes and myself, sally v, rikki and kimmy. we headed down early on a hot day and checked into the d'anza hotel right downtown next to the shark tank. we got dolled up and grabbed a martini or two before walking into the depths. some crap called gym super douche heroes or something opened. they were garbage. then t-pain fell on his segway or something so he couldnt make it, also a bummer. but in my humble opinion weezy killed again. quite the production and got to hear the hits, plus he jammed on the guitar this time. hit up some weird sj bar afterwards and called it a night. funfun.

the drive in the saw v ride is always a pleasure. rockin out with our cocks out.

a good amount of hotel shenanigans before we even left the room. lots of this crap going on all night. fuckin a bitches...

the bar was an outdoor patio and hella swank. i hear the food is delicious.

ummm, beats the fuck outta me.

made it to show now and i looked like i stared into the sun for a week and a half.

this guy in front of us tried his damnedest to ruin it for me. close but no luck fucktard.

this is those dorks who hurt my ears and brain.

then the supermegastar came fuckin hot...

best caption for this photo wins a HFTU.

more of this love goodness.

phoooone home...WEEZY!

had a blast, thanks saw v and san jose.

cleanin house

2009-03-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

more photos of nonsensical nonsense that i may or may not give two shits about when i find this place in 10 years, assuming i am somewhere with a computer.

this is betty and the new love of my life...even though she is real old but i call her mature and if you say different then you can just take right off. we got hella miles already together.

i was on my way to the ramp a few weeks ago and was waitin here at the old pier skatespot and witnessed this fuckin bullshit. anyone that skates knows the battle between us and the city for this spot that has been going on for years. new skatestops, we take em off, back and forth back and forth until they finally just ruined the whole things and now they look like dog piss. well this was all apparently because we are a nuisance and destroying property. which they then completely fucked in the a. so the fight has been lost by both sides, however it is clearly hunky dory to get blacked out in the afternoon and sleep on these while your ass hangs out and your blackberry schnapps pours out of your carls jr cup. make sense? didnt think so.

made it the ramp to meet the headlock and it was a glorious afternoon. these look a lot better on the camera.

picked up this fuckin bum on the way to one of the celebrations of ross' birth.

these two gettin in on the fun.

docs clock. most handsome funguys around.

i think this was the nest morning, nicky seegs came and swooped luke, pete and i and we headed out for 18...

but not before a bloody and some jokin with the staff that was terrified of our enthusiasm. we dont get out all together on the course that much so we make the fuckin most of it.

oh and by the way, i won.

lynne and ryan are badasses.

kieran, aka lil pervert, picked me up for a skate day and we started out to daly city to warm up. isnt she pretty?

this kid was rippin, shot a shitty video you can see below.

style for miles. had a great day, thanks kieran. and matt for letting me break your board after my pudgy ass broke mine earlier.

for another celebration of ross i met him down at some piano bar on market st. i sat at the actual piano and met this cool ass cat. he showed me the ropes and was a stud of a dancer:

ross' dad and sister georgia. welcome to HFTU.

this chick was a regular and told me she sings as well. i didnt really believe her until mc piano boy called her up and she dedicated a song to none other than conor kelly. rad.

next day we decided to hit up dollar day at the horse track. saw this excellent display of drunk antics on the way.

sally could not think of one place she would want to be less than here. the rest of us loved it.

hahahaha! this car was gold. fuckin taped together with hot pink tape. clearly thinking that they are pulling it off but an epic fail in my book.

that is all. here is the video of the ramp kid and another of dumb roundup shit. they are both tipping the scales of shit actually but whatevers. at least i got lil wayne to post about next week suckas.

mas vacas

2009-03-19T13:57:00.000-07:00

i think these are from the babys camera so iona probably took them, because he is a baby and needs her help with everything. i sorta kid...

vinny gettin in on the brand action.

these young bucks are the future. total bros.

marty is the natural master of this task.

girl barn.

just takin a nice little seat on that ass.

ya bear!

kenny mach just bein himself. and boss being worthless.

these below are from martys camera, what started out as innocent fun with shutter speed quickly turned about as juvenile as you could possibly get. growing up is hella overrated. shit was too funny. once gary got super into it it was over, he was the maestro, picasso and beethoven of the glowstick art.

i am feelin the jt glowbelt.

the heart over jerry and allison started it all...wait for it...

gary goin for the solo "bear", turned into beer which works too.

little raunchier.

this was first try and i must say it is pretty fuckin gooood. 4 of us total, i was on ball duty.

little self promotion.

also first try naked lady.

clearly my fav. but the true masterpiece:

baaahahahaahah! i was sitting with marty while a huge group was doing this one. you cant tell what the fuck is going on until the picture pops up. i just bout shit myself i was laughing so hard. people HFTUing each other, runnin around the campfire. you would have thought we had just won an academy award or some shit. gary, some would call you a hero.

fuck a cow

2009-03-17T13:22:00.001-07:00

as i explained before the roundup rules and here is the evidence that this year was no different. we did it right. good fires, slept outside, great food and took care of business when the time came. 160 cows wrastled to the ground, medicated, branded and de-manned. mission accomplished, cant wait for next year. everyone killed it, especially the whole machado clan. big ups to them.

stopped at the ranch in san ho on the way down to pick up some horses. mikey looked very regal while junior here above looked haggard but awesome. old things kick ass in general.

danny brought raffie down and he got savage, pulling lit logs out of the fire like it wasnt no thing.

no lighters here. but there was a brian hi spotting which always brings a ray of sunshine.

then raffie got loose as fuck and pulled out the red rocket on brians leg. this picture, when zoomed in on, is priceless. full blown sex.

brians rad gf bought him this contraption that attaches to a hitch. so comfy, we even went for a ride in it. highlight for sure.

raffie and fred in our "swimhole" we "made" last year. it needed some work so we gave it our all.

we started by using brute force to push this log out of its home.

then using a single rope, brians truck and college know how we moved this thing a hundred yards or something in attempt to damn the river. maybe next year it will be done...

took a drive up to the old house which we learned might be on the verge of extinction. which blows ass. there is some cool shit up there...

mouse home.

adobe wall from hundreds of years ago. sweet.

brian could not be troubled to get up to pee so he lets it fly from the seat of his pants. good form.

dead mouse in a bottle. pretty gnar. brians theory was it went in there to eat and couldnt fit back out...little iffy but...

found this priceless gem of a raiders glass. it came home with me.

vince, michael, iona and marty feelin it.

someone started taking an axe to a log on the fire, gary i believe. this was the result.

took a little hike up to the water tower. so green and wonderful.

iona did some modeling.

i made a ladybug friend.

jerry was there being an all star as expected. luvs that guy.

michael and jt are permanently on the grill duty and did not disappoint in the least.

thats a happy manhattan.

the babe crew.

there was a wood pile in the middle of the field that has been accumulating for years and the older machados decided it was time for it to burn. this made me excited as i enjoy the company of fire immensely. i had a good hour sitting in the field alone watching this massive shit burn. it was enjoyable.

this is W.E.B, jenjens stepdad. he was a barrel of good times. we hit it off, i just hope he calls like he said he would...

inappropriate.

marty managed to acquire a bunch of glow sticks from his work and had the rad idea to shoot some photos with a slow shutter speed to obtain dope effects. the results were beyond words, once he sends them to me i will put them up. you are going to shit. it was hella fun.

sunday was the big day where they put us to work. main job, to tackle the cows onto their side and re-tie them so they can be dealt with. we were up for it and i must say we did a great job this year. well oiled machine, in sync, baddass...etc.

danny, jt and i handling this little bitch.

best outfit of the day, hands down. peep the cutoffs and blue cowboy boots.

balls and horns are no longer. horns above...balls being dealt with by the dog below.

gary handles some roping duty. packin chews and wrangling cows is in that fools blood.

mikey and i plotting some cheap shots.

quick pep talk for this fuck before she gets served.

little break for the boys.

towards the end of the day martman let me get in on a little branding. much fun.

then we decided to tackle a cow without ropes or horses. just cornered that bitch and took him down. we did it a few times. rick hates cows and is the perenial allstar of the trip.

after a long day we ate a delicious meal finished off with pies for days. could not have asked for anything more.

jen, marty, web and "ze german". that guy was fuckin out of his mind. hella fun bro, we kicked it hard.

and that is that. all around awesome. thanks one more time to the machados for graciously hosting a pack of rufians. i appreciated it a lot. more pics coming from other cameras or maybe not. but the glowstick ones for sure. holler.

round em up

2009-03-12T14:04:00.001-07:00

every year the machado family is nice enough to invite a couple boys down to their ranch outside cal poly to round up some cows, brand em, cut their baby makers off (balls not johnsons), bbq, drink beers, swim, shoot guns, sleep outside, make fires, bond, chew tobacco and high five each other.

this event had a very small part in what you are about to see below. mostly this occurred because i was sick and fuckin tired of talking about "it" with others that had the same shit going on and those who wish they had the nutz to grow one. anyway, this is what i look like now. weird...

first time in multiple years a razor has touched this face. mustache coming off after this weekend so look for conor circa 2001 in the streets. or dont actually, i kind of like walking past people i know on my block and them having no clue who i am. liberating really.

have a great weekend everyone, i am excited for mine. i need it. HFTU.

february

2009-03-11T10:41:00.000-07:00

a few weeks back i did a few things on the weekend. i have been busy doing other things so didnt have time to post pictures of these things. probably because nobody cares.

a saw a random flyer at a bus stop one rainy day for a grease themed party, supposed to be the whole shabang. costumes, dancing...you know, rydell high hosts national bandstand (not american bandstand dammit). just in case you didnt know, i fucking love grease. huge fan, makes me happy anytime i watch it. so i call the awesome crew to fill them in on my find and a few are up for it. since i had just purchased an all black suit i decided to get a pink shirt and a pink little scarf guy to hang out of my pocket and dress just like danny in that scene. i did this, others got in their best 50's get ups and awaaaaaay weeeee gooooo!

matt didnt so much get dressed up as he did get jooooosed!

kimmy got some old school attire and was ready to handle the dance floor.

sally and i deciding if she wants to be sandy or cha cha.

trevor is on the far left and he actually made a t-birds leather jacket. pretty sweet. rikki had a nice red number herself. walking in....

event tonight has been cancelled. whawhawha...so bummed. although someone writing "suck" on the poster was epic. what to do?

clearly get back in the prius and start dancin until we find somewhere else to be...

nothing in unusual came to mind so we verti-went to polk to dance.

place was packed as a whorehouse on friday night so we were relegated to the front by the bar, which was still enough room to kill.

plus i met the bartender who hooked it up with a couple jello shots so she gets the HFTU treatment...end of that night.

somehow we ended up on our way to san jose another night. jose rojo turned pro for enjoi skateboards and those are sallys good peeps so we cruised down for his party. dave rosenberg made an appearance for the ride down! he is the one that i acquired my bike, betty, from. she rules. love of my life.

jt came down too and we ran into jesse erickson. he is the man and we used to skate with him back in the sj days of lore. i skated our ramp about 10 hours a week, him about 3 hours a month and i couldnt do one thing he could. good fellow.

jt, matt and i had some quality time in the living room with red cups.

then jt and i decided to venture to an old bar spot downtown so we walked in the rain there and we ran into our friend ona. had a few beers and called it an early night for the ride home.

some sunday mornin we headed to lime for brunch. i had heard a lot about this place and it was basically all that it is cracked up to be. it is kind of in the castro and very flamboyant. there is a big waiting area and well needed as the wait was about an hour, $2 mimosas while you wait but then $7 ones once you are seated and they are bottomless, pretty tight. also they blare club music and everyone is dancing and shit. ran into tasha money who i hadnt seen in days and we ended up joining in her crew to make a huge table of madness.

this girl in the red looked exactly like fantashia from american idol and she was booty shaking all over the damn place. rikki was lovin.

for some reason this is totally appropriate there.

club photog.

this dude was ballin hella hard.

the chica on the right was wearing a shirt i was in love with so i convinced her to trade me.

i think i won that one.

then rikki pulled the same switcharoo with a stranger. they didnt play for keeps though. elephant is hangin in my room now.

then at a party some time later i ran into this girl with the same shirt. forced her to take a picture, wasnt feelin it. look how embarrased sally is. fuck it.

so those things happened and they were all fun. blahblahblah

hella super

2009-03-10T11:57:00.000-07:00

the superstar was just downright fuckin gold. exactly what i expected, if you didnt go, you blew it. we danced, we sang, he conquered. the photos are not too great, not too shabby but i think you will get the gist. best. musician. ever. come back soon my minnesotan prince.

big ups to kayvon for putting this whole thing together. it was rad. he djayed in between bands and people were feelin it. see you next time at polk headquarters. i swear sally had fun, even though you wouldnt have guessed it here.

babyfoote made a guest appearance.

these two have the same but kind of opposite go-to dance. put together and they are unstoppable. kind of like how the power rangers all linked up to make something extra super, ya, like that.

this is kayvons sister christina, she is insane. clearly.

ummm, maybe stick to the tables bro. that is not the best go-to dance out there...

after a couple other bands and some vonvon the man came out in the gold shawl thing. fired up i was.

i got dressed up for it.

"people can you feeeeeeel me??"

"oooh yaaaa!!!"

he had a full band. unfuckinreal.

jt got a little video guy, links below. plus look how happy that stud is.

baby do you like my clothes?

token ass shot. hot.

peoples sexiest man alive 2009.

i stood on the speakers and danced the entire time, until they kicked me off for the hundredth time.

this picture is courtesy of littlefoote and pretty much sums it all up. thanks again to kayvon for putting this shit together and harmar superstar for just being him. miss it once, shame on you, miss it twice delete my phone number.

couple of jts videos

some more pics

hella epic.

guess whos back?

2009-03-03T13:54:00.000-08:00

this guy, this thursday night at rickshaw stop in sf, doors at 8. i wouldnt miss it if i was you.

real lame videos

2009-02-20T13:14:00.001-08:00

if you need to kill some time this weekend peep my youtube channel!

aint no sunshine when shes gone is by far the best.

be good nerds.

waiting for sunday

2009-02-18T09:49:00.001-08:00

this last weekend was valentines day so i decided to be a minor hermit. that day sucks and nobody wants to go out and witness that bullshit. kicked it hella low key friday and luckily got an invite to go to the mountains on saturday. cracked it for a day trip and hit the road around 630 or so headed for kirkwood. glorious day spent up there, little cold at times but tons of snow provided great times. loved it.

all of this was leading up to sunday when i had tickets to one of the greatest rock and roll bands of all time, the murder city devils. they broke up a few years back and this is their first tour reunited, and i hope not the last. they rocked the great american music hall for the best evening show i have been to in a long while.

bounced out of that shit to meet up with crew awesome at stompy. dont know what that is, neither do i really but it was off the charts. huge venue, nonstop dancing and pandemonium until the wee hours. had monday off to top the whole thing which i spent wondering sf and generally enjoying the city...until it hailed at zeitgeist. success, again.

sun comin up over the bay. even in the rain and general shitty weather we have been experiencing this place kicks most other places in the crotch. only photo from that dumb saints day.

these two opened for the devils. they were pretty shitty. end of story. main event time.

gettin fired the fuck up at this point.

had great seats. they played just about everything i wanted to hear and that made me a happy little boy...not too obvious from this weird pic but trust me on this one.

party face! and i was out to the exact opposite kind of party...

these two were clearly already crushing this partys ass.

matt and kimmy, welcome to HFTU!, we know it will not be last time. and i forgot this guys name but he was a gentleman and a half.

ummmmm...

this is all too common.

cuttin a serious rug.

much more ass crushing was going on by matt. en fuego.

saw v is NOT afraid to get all up in that shit.

trevor gettin some side boob.

megas.

this guy was partied the fuck out. fully asleep on the outskirts of the dance floor. so good.

we just couldnt let him be in peace.

hella fools. cant wait for the next one. until then...

dance and wager

2009-02-13T14:30:00.000-08:00

after a lovely afternoon at delores park i met up with the usual suspects for another saturday night of fun things. the new hotspot vertigo was the destination and as usual we got to listen to anything we wanted and laugh at ourselves dancing all while mocking others as we so cruelly do. in summation, it was fun and a lot went down, and as usual i missed 99% of it because i was all up in that mix.

regulars.

surprise guest darby showed up. one of my best friends that is over 6.6 and 275 lbs. guy is a fuckin legend, superstar even.

the gals gettin it going good.

matt captured much more action than myself. guy is excellent. TMA. that is all.

sunday is dollar day at golden gate fields and is always super dope. it was beckys bday so i dragged chip with me to meet with some heads. they were still celebrating chinese new year for some reason and in between races they had this fuckin weirdo guy doing magic and acrobats and whoopitdoos. here he cut a bitch in half, things went awry, ambulances called. you know, the usual.

self portrait. i was told to wear a hat. this is all i was working with.

jamal, ben and nick polanski were enjoying themselves. even though this photo does not show it.

what the fuck?

birfday girly! congrats ol timer.

gotta give it to the guy. doin shit i aint about to be able to do.

and thats that. worst blog to date? most likely but hey, you still looked at it.

super bowl of shit

2009-02-12T10:15:00.000-08:00

team machado hosted a party for the foosball match a few weeks ago. and since i like them a whole lot more than that bro-ing ass sport i attended very happily. the gfs of the chalet prepared some super duper eats while the dudes did shit. except set up one of those betting square things which bring validity to the game. a good crew assembled and away we went. thank god damn bvrs brought the skate bench so we could do that instead of being inside. most of the rest of the time was spent on the porch as well, it was sunny and lovely here in the yay area. best part was when a senile old lady screamed at us, shook her finger and called the cops for us skating in the street. then the cops came and they thought she was as lame as we did but i had done run out of tricks at that point anyway. here is some photo evidence of nothing in particular. dicks.

the baby was ready to rock early. he kept all the money for the squares in that silly little hat.

the bigga figga showed up from a trip and was instantly on fire, as per the usual.

more dude bros chillin. snacks have been demolished, on to the bud lights for them. i had a 40 cause i am cheap like that.

iona was pure hype. jt, too good. also i think cecily is making her first appearance. she was crushing champagne like a serious heavy weight champ.

didnt believe me?

sally and jen were in love. jen was in lust i think, hot.

team grump.

couch was heating up. iona asked me not to do this but i am laughing out loud right now so i have to. step 1) eye the fuck out of the cupcake.

step 2) destroy! and get thumbs down from baby friend. the other michael was fuckin hyped though.

jenjen was being really fun so she got photoged the mostest. kinda looks like she is smashing that bottle up chips face.

O.R.K. the 3rd.

while i did win 50 bucks on one of the quarters of football, marty was the big damn winner. won a bunch and spent none of it on us. i bought champagne and hot dogs. what a dick, right? i guess he hosted the party but whatevers...

"i am getting a nice dinner AND laid tonight!"

thank the devil that sport is over for a year. go warriors.

last few months, part 1

2009-02-10T12:03:00.000-08:00

have acquired some decent photos from the last few months and want to throw them up here, and seeing how this is all mine i can do whatever i like, i shall. patron on ice? yes please. just a few shots of the killer life of late. peep it...you are probably on here and i know how self centered my friends are so join in the fun of looking at yourself!

cruised out to the berkeley hills with porkchop, matty, seegs and myself for a little qt on the links. pretty sure i won.

went down to pacifica for a demo and a premier of our last vid over here at Thrasher. good turn out, free beer and dogs plus we went to a garage sale before hand where i managed to pick up some cds, the likes of c&c music factory, the proclaimers and a nwa double disk. this kid ollied into this ramp proper like. but the highlight was clearly this thing:

i cant remember laughing AT someone as hard as i was right after this photo. get that dog girl! apparently this nightmare lurks around the pacifica park and tries to get down with little boys. disgusting, maybe. for sure the weirdest thing on a skate of all time. this was NOT halloween by the way.

place is called the log shop and their ramp is good good times. creature team showed up to shred.

warriors halftime shows cannot be beat anywhere. the little kid dance crew blows my mind and the ninja dunkers are fuckin sweet too. mid misty flip or some damn thing.

we took a journey up to wine country for my dear friend jenny coyne's wedding celebration. trust me, it was a real lovely affair but i got there, took this picture of the liquor store across the street and then my camera died. she looked good, he was the best groom ever. i danced hella. a real love story unfolded in multiple ways.

chainsaw charlie showed up in SF for some reason or another. oh, i think this was for skater of the year. he came to the warehouse and i tried to steal his soul via my camera. turns out it wasnt there. but i did get a pic of his Thrasher tattoo...

it is a good one.

then we rounded up the rest of the crew and josh dragged us to the beach, in december, where it was very pleasant. but not at all. it did become funny which was no consolation to my balls being inside my tummy. hot dogs are always nice. i think we have kalisha, ronnie, mahar, charlie and josh. who knows, it is quite the shitty picture.

back to the polk pad where we practiced some karaoke songs, born to be wild got murdered. air broom rocked. then moves like this that even my living room was brand new to...

bury that face in sallys crotch chuck!

straight to encore to test skills. pretty sure this was NKOTB and sally v brought the house to its knees.

saw v and i went to emmys some random night for some spaghetti and a 40 for me.

dirt nasty on our big skate day. lip and back smith on that one ledge. i killed it too...only with much worse tricks.

all these pics are from new years day. cruised around the hood, also to encore again and overall had a great day. here my man joe free gets frisky with mandy girl.

amy b and me.

then quinn brought the jacket out. and those are my shades which i broke at zeitgeist this last saturday. for shame.

outfit changes galore.

couple good ol fashioned jt moments. he had a gooood time that day and night.

classic me face. boooooring.

i heart this pic. looking good peeps.

this is one of my better memories of last few months. carrie and i went to the science museum and then cruised out into the park area. promptly i stopped mid step and witnessed the greatest shit ever. these guys are the yo-yo'ers of the bay area. full, real club...with a giant sign up and everything. they fuckin ruled at everything they did. blaring a mix tape that went from amazing house type dance shit to metal as fuck shit. all the while casually performing the best yoyo tricks that anyone in the world has ever seen, true story. man, i had a huge crush on them. kids just kept showing up and mixing right in there, seamlessly. they carried around briefcases full of different utensils for yoyoing...mixing and matching. trading and bartering with each other and curious passerbyes. fuck, i sat there for about an hour or more. floored the whole time. check these dudes out if you are ever over there on a saturday morning. maybe sunday. thanks bros.

freddy scored some sausages and instead of being normal we decided to bbq them on the corner of 14th and guerrero all the while watching the warriors beat the stupid hornets in the bar. classic. quite the scene.

was out in the cuts of the sunset or somewhere far away at st. corner nicks house. this is his dog and he was handsome.

possible more randumb shit coming soon. blah.