found some babes doing some surf brudda thing or whatever. who knows? lord knows they had no clue why they were there. probably went home with kelly slater the night before and this was one of the conditions of being able to pet his head or some shit.
this was a save titties booth or something similar. being the philanthropist that i am i stopped by to talk about the cause and make up some stories about myself. i think i was the king of england or santa clause at this point.
took a lunch break from slaving away and met up with lacey on her break and found evan. he had cured the common cold while roaming the city. look how proud he is. handsome to boot.
i am not quite sure how to explain this fellow. his name was julius or romulous or beavis, couldnt tell you. anywho, he was insane. he made all sorts of fucked up claims about all sorts of fucked up junk. i think he was related to mufasa from the lion king, or maybe it was peter pan. either way he was a total kick in the pants good time and drunk as charlie sheen is at the exact moment nobody reads this.
chris is a rep for our buddy matt mattoons wax company so they showed up too. go buy it, it is called Matunas. not to mention if you cannot support someone named matt mattoon then you are a traitor and a comi, end of story.
then like any good adventure i met a local rapper/singer/songwriter/G. this fellow hails from seattle but relocated to diego. his name is culpepper, his album is entitled "town business vol. 1" and his phone number is 206-612-7900 or 206-612-1093. seriously, hit him up!
he cruised up to hustle his record and came with a pretty dope flow. i was impressed but i wanted something on the fly so i asked him to spit 16 about san diego. while i cannot remember what he said exactly i know that he started with three consecutive lines ending in "san diego", "jose canseco" and "muy bueno". i pooped a little in my pants and bought 10 copies.
"no you're beautiful", "no you are"...slap!
if you are keeping count this is bartender number 2 of the trip that wanted me dead. sooo unamused by my rants. peep my lurky friend, so sick.
i sent this to vh1, they said they were done casting this season of "i am the next supermodel" but that they would file it away for next time. i will keep you all posted on that one.
we match. george, remember when i bought that shirt in montana for 33 cents in 2001? ya, i resist change.
hold still and i promise i wont burn your whole fuckin head off. lights out conor, evan take me home please? thank you. good night world. stay tuned for my birthday where i was even uglier!